why do i feel soooo lonely?
im 17 male in a wheelchair and have cerebral palsy I have never dated, played a sport or had contact with another person like me in a long time . That was fine though until i had to do transition into uni and saw that ill never have freedom never love and never live. I just cant live with the idea of being alone except for carers and structured activities. They want me to participate in sport but I know it just won’t work: this is because while I use an Electric wheelchair i can still talk and eat on my own and move kind of a lot of others can’t so I just wont fit into electric wheelchair sport, they want to train me in how to live outside my parents and it feels enbrassing learning how to budget,shop, open food what if my friends see me and think have a mental disability. I feel alone and tired and confuzzled with my life. help
Do you want to live independently and be involved with sport or not? You say you are lonely. If you want to live independently than you need to learn how. You may not have a cognitive disability, but obviously you have not learned the basic skills you need so far. So how do you expect to learn them? If they are your friends – they know what kind of disability you have or don’t have.
You are too young to let this stop you from having an independent future. Get over your fear and just do it. You will have so many more choices after wards you will wonder why you ever hesitated.
It would be best to find a person who is in a similar situation or at least is empathic. don’t worry about "love" and living. Love is pure compassion…the other one is romance and infatuation====> you can live without the later, it’s not all that, really. But if having a romantic life means so much to you find some1 who is like you and can relate to you.
Hello,
My name is Karen and i know exactlly how you feel.My son,who is 20,disrespects mealso.My ex-husband and him live here in my apartment.They share a room together and have a lock on it.I have a lock on my door but they never respect that,they pick the lock and come in.I have no privacy.I feel so alone all the time.I need someone to comfort me and to show me some compasion.
look on you tube at power chair soccer…yes you can still do sports
people like you have married and had children….the girl i know that plays is in at least one of the videos..she moves a lot, talks A LOT, eats by herself..its not true that many of these athletes don’t do that…some probably…….but chances are they can communicate and are of at least average IQ…as these teams are not special olympics
most 17 year olds don’t know how to budget, shop properly…you will know more than your friends–they will look stupid—this should be taught to all students before uni
while part of wheelchair sports includes fostering independence…that is not the main goal..the main goal is the sport
To have friends and not be so lonely You MUST get involved in things outside of yourself and your home. Your parents aren’t going to be there forever. Have faith in yourself and you can do it.
First of all, if someone is truly your friend, they’ll know you’re not mentally disabled. If anything, they’ll more than understand. I mean, I was NOT disabled at 17 and I still had to go learn to budget, shop, prepare things so they last how long they’re supposed to, etc. It has NOTHING to do with you having a disability and EVERYTHING to do with you growing up! Sure, a lot of people’s parents never work with them on that and they think they have a handle on it, but then they screw up their credit because they can’t budget or mess up on shopping, etc. Not everyone who claims to know something does. I have gone to classes to teach that and the majority of the people there are NOT disabled. And a lot of them are in their late 20s or older. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of.
As for feeling lonely, I get the distinct impression you may be shy. I know this is cliché advice, but find a group to join. They have clubs for various hobbies. My uni had a club for gamers, for learning languages, for sexuality, for religion, for government, for disabilities, for poetry… Everything you could think of. And if you can’t FIND one, ask the people in the Uni if you can START one. If you fill out the proper paper and get permission from the school, all you have to do then is put up signs. And you’re only 17, don’t worry about dating. Even before when I WASN’T disabled, I didn’t get my first date until 19. You just have to put yourself out there. Being shy does you no justice. Just never say that you will never be loved.
I’m 19, at college, male, in a wheelchair, and can’t do simple tasks like write. I have SMA which is a type of MD. (Although people like to say, "Oh yeah, you have MDA!" Yeah, I have "the Association." Dumbasses.) Anywho, I have issues with severe depression. I’m a staunch atheist so can’t really "seek the Lord" for help, nor can I be angry at him; that would be sort of nice actually. I’ve got TONS of lady friends, all girls whom I’ve buttered up to because I’m relatively nice, easy going, easy to talk to, and not a nervous type. I’ve also never had a girlfriend. It’s pretty tormenting.
One day I made the serious resolution to drive down to the light-rail not far from my house. I would drive off the platform as soon as the train came rushing by in the hopes that it would be "quick." Right before I was about to leave the house for my little adventure, I saw a walking fellow on the news trying the same exact thing. The light-rail is quite new and apparently they have precautionary measures for just this scenario. He hopped in front of the train and it immediately came to a halt without even touching him. The bastard suffered a broken leg.
The first thing I did was get my doctor on the phone and ask her to prescribe me an antidepressant. I’ve been on 20mgs of Celexa for the past four months. It’s been great. I have a harder time getting into depressive spells and rarely think of suicide. I’m still quite lonely but I’m also a lot tougher about handling it. It’s just one of those things you have to man up to.
As for friends, hell, they’re out there. The right ones will be your friends. You aren’t a ‘tard, you are intelligent, you have emotions. You can therefore offer everybody a whole universe that’s brewing inside of you. This part takes confidence. Humility is a virtue and you really can’t have too much of it either. Being humble and not embarrassed about your situation with a complete sense of pride is something all people around will notice, and it will make them forget about all that stuff sooner. If you keep giving an embarrassed sideways glance, you’ll make them pity you, and you never EVER want that.
This is YOUR life and YOU’RE alive as much as Brad effing Pitt. Do what makes YOU happy. Put yourself out there. It’s not as cold and lonely as you think. You’ll learn to support yourself and get into a rhythm. It’s not hard. It’s beautiful.
I’m pretty much in the same boat. I am disabled, and as a result it’s made me mordibly obese. My only hope of losing the weight is getting gastric bypass, and my insurance has been fighting me. So I’m basically stuck at home, waiting on the insurance. I know it feels hopeless, but I just have faith that someday, maybe not tomorrow or the next week but someday, things will be okay.