When the rapture occurs, how are Christians going to be whisked up to heaven? Horse? Scooter?
Monday, February 22nd, 2010 at
2:36 pm
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I’ll be riding a Kangaroo!!
Only God knows
Actually it’s a pogo stick, but you have to be able to jump REALLY, REALLY high!!
Better start practicing…
I’m going wearing my hockey skates!!
Shite, that whole "As an atheist, I’ll be burning in hell for eternity while my teeth are nashing" thing cracked me up good.
They will be going on clouds, shining with heavenly gawd light.
U need the lord … may god have mercy on your soul
and i mean that from my heart
May god bless you
Don’t worry. Because their is no rapture.
huge f****n escalators
but it’ll be hell waiting to get to the top (if they ever reach it)
on the backs of housecats.
those that don’t own housecats or lions and tigers, etc. will burn in hell.
unless they have a polar bear, even god fears polar bears.
"As an Atheist", you don’t believe any of it is true. So what do you care, if you believe you will be in Hell, you are not an Atheist.
I don’t know how but maybe a Chariot like He did to Elisha
Pneumatic tube.
Foop!
"Beam me up Scotty."
You won’t be taken … correct but you will hear about it in the news… losts and losts of ppl turn up missing world wide.
Rapture was a made up story from the late 1800s with a cult following that died out for about 70 years and picked up again in the late 1970s.
angels will give us piggybacks
With the price of gas, it’ll probably be on a bicycle.
They will be gone in twinkling of the eye.
You will blink and they will be gone.
My prayer is you find out the Truth before it is too late.
I know you can’t be serious, but I would pose a question that is.
I always wondered how many of us will actually still be here, alive, when Christ comes and the rapture occurs? I rather suspect we will be getting killed off much like Hitler tried to do to the Jews.
yeah you will!
you’ll be seeing me being raptured; you won’t be gnashing your teeth until years later; anyway it’d be nice to be raptured maybe by means of a BMW or a Ferrari but I think we’ll just start floating all of a sudden. How do you like that?
PS
You can still repent, I’d be really honored to meet you while we’re being raptured together.
Jesus will come down and pick them up because no matter how hard people try to jump fly kick scream yell they can never make it up themselves.
oh and btw i dont believe there is escort to hell.. i believe you just… poof down there?… possibly faster.
so if you know youll be burning in hell then why not get saved before its to late but to anwser your question we’ll go in the clouds
I for one am a Catholic-Christian and don’t believe in the rapture.
However, I try not to be a jerk or sarcastic toward ideas/beliefs that I don’t hold. But if you just had to, perhaps you could be funny about it.
It is written in Holy Scripture that Our Lord Almighty will transport all of the saved by instructing naked clones of Loui Anderson to give them rickshaw rides directly to the pearly gates of Heaven.
By the power of God we will rise and be caught up to meet the Lord in the air.
And in a twinkling of an eye we will all be changed from earthly bodies to Heavenly Immortal bodies just like Jesus.
1 John 3:2 , 1 Corinthians 15:51-54, Philippians 3:21,
1 Thessalonians 4:16,17
Lets get a few things straight coming out the gate:
First, the rapture doctrine is not Biblical – it has never been Biblical until some enthusiastic pastors back in 1830 decided
to "come up with it" thru the dream of a little retarded girl
named Margaret McDonald. Even little margaret herself tried to tell them she felt sick and that the dream she had was
evil through and through…..
Anyway, after 35 years of teaching from the manuscripts and in the original languages, I can tell you with a guarantee, that no person is going to fly away anywhere. In fact, you can go to Mark 13 where Jesus Christ Himself gives a good chronological order of events that lead up to His return, and you will see that there is not even a remote indication that any
portion of our population – great or small – will be missing, raptured, disappeared or anything else. Its simply not there.
I’d go to Ezekiel 13:18 if you wanna know what God thinks about the "fly away doctrine". He says HE HATES IT.
He sends His son, the Living Word, to be our Salvation, and what do these characters do? They cover up the outstretched arms of the Savior, and teach that you are gonna jetpack outta here instead. In fact, many Churches tell their congregations that they don’t even need to know the Scriptures because they’re gonna be gone. I’ve got news for them: they’re already "gone" and don’t know it.
Okay, lets get straight to this hell thing. You will not be burning for eternity in anything, I can assure you. gnashing of teeth is an idiom that simply means "in the state of complete devastation". The consequence of not making it to the eternity will be the Lake of Fire. It will take just as long as it takes to step into it, and you are turned to ashes from within.
Nobody frys like bacon for all eternity while others enjoy their eternal life. Either you make it, or ya don’t. Nothing else is written, but so many people who do not understand the figures of speech used in the Greek, just think these things
are literal. I know they aren’t – why? Well, because I not only have the manuscripts, but then I also have the Massorah, which are the footnotes to the N.T., and that lock in the meanings given, so that they cannot be misunderstood, and they cannot be tampered with by man.
If for some reason you cannot seem to find truth in the flesh,
when Christ returns he ushers in a 1000 yr. period of teaching and disipline. You are not going to hells fire – chances are, you are going to school. At least thats what the
Bible says about it, but you believe what you want.
PS: In 1thess – "up in a cloud" is a greek idiom meaning
"a very large group gathered" – ever hear of a "cloud of locusts"??
AND – "in the air"; is Ruach (spiritual body)in the manuscripts – meaning we will meet Christ in a large group gathered, changed back into our spiritual bodies. Not up in the clouds in the atmosphere,
but right here on the darn ground. Holy moly.
Blondie will personally escort them all, on goats, donkey’s, and on her back.