What should I do about my mother-in-law?
My mother-in-law is morbidly obese. She has been for quite some time. She always complains about her weight, and that she can not loose any of it. I don’t see how she could loose weight when she rides around in a electric wheelchair, because she can not walk, or rather, she chooses not to walk. She basically sits at her computer all day, and when she does move from in front of her computer she scoots around in her wheelchair. I have talked to my husband about her condition, and he agrees that he and his sisters need to talk to her about it, but they don’t do anything. She recently recieved state aid (a nurse to come to her house and clean, massage her "swollen feet", etc). She says she doesn’t eat a lot, which i know is complete bull, because you obviously have to eat a lot, in order to stay that overweight (and/or possibly gain weight). I can’t even go around her anymore, because she is basically killing herself. I don’t know what to do. Any advice?
My father in law is the same way.. Really all you can do it be supportive to her health and show that it concerns you.
It’s kinda like that saying "You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink."
My ex mother-in-law smoke and drank herself into very bad health and is dying now at 60. Despite that she has stopped the drinking and limits the smoke. All you can do is accept her for who she is. Just be kind, helpful and maybe even a true friend. If you believe in God- say a prayer for her. We all know are shortcomings are and usually don’t want to be told about them, but kindness and understanding is always welcome (actually- it’s almost sublimely helpful). I lost over 100 pounds ten years ago and have kept it off. How? I’ll never forget the words a old friend spoke to me years ago (whom never ever acted like my weight was an issue). I told him I was trying everything to loose weight and was struggling bad. He said- I know you can do it- it’s all been done before and is possible. Tell her she can do it and only speak kind and encouraging words. Don’t stop going around her either- she needs her "daughter" in-law.
If she is serious about getting help she needs to see a doctor. She will have to be on a special diet/exercise program.
If she isn’t serious than you really can’t do much.
Your husband and his sisters should have a discussion with her about her weight in a non con-frontal way and with sensitivity. I would suggest they ask if she does want help and that they would be willing to help and motivate her etc.
Who does her shopping? You all can try starting at her home with maybe preparing meals and then labeling them and that is all she gets. Take away treats she has.
Bring up the topic about other health problems she is setting herself up for such as diabetes etc. Try to mention the swollen feet etc. will go away.
Good luck.