How to keep kids out of my yard???!!!!!?
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Cant keep the kids out of my yard?
I always wanted to live in a neighborhood full of kids so my own kids (6 &
always had playmates, and I always wanted to have the "fun" house that kids wanted to play at. Well, be careful what you ask for, I guess. We live right in a cul-de-sac with a lot of kids. We have an inground pool, a swingset, and the kids have the basic toys like scooters, pogo sticks, hula hoops, water balloons, sidewalk chalk, the usual. None of the other houses in the cul de sac have any of these kinds of things, it appears the other kids have virtually no toys, except our next door neighbor who has a trampoline. So the parents of all these kids just send their kids out to play and they always end up at our house (or at the trampoline) for us (or the neighbor with the trampoline)to supervise. Some of them barge into our house without knocking, they just suddenly appear in my kitchen. They stomp around with their dirty shoes. When they leave they leave the door wide open. I can tell them 100 times to knock, dont come in with dirty shoes, close the door, and they never remember the next time. Or we will be out by the pool and they appear through the sliding glass door on my deck, like they just let themselves in through the front and have been walking through my house. Some of them constantly ask for food, drinks and freeze pops. I usually hand out freeze pops and juice boxes within reason, but say no to the food. I will just walk outside and there is a kid in my garage looking through stuff grabbing toys, or a 3 year old all by herself on the swingset. If i tell the kids to go home, they ask "why"? Then they just linger. If I say we have to leave and go somewhere, they ask to stay while we are gone. Some of these kids….my own kids dont even like them or want to play with them. Their parents just send them over without asking. Even the parents will just walk into my back yard without asking to push their kid on my swings. I dont know which is worse, having these uninvited kids running all over my yard for me to supervise, or having their parents come over with them to supervise because I dont really want to talk to these parents because I am really annoyed at them. The kids I am talking about range ages 3 to 7.
My own kids would NEVER walk into someone’s house without knocking, or just appear in their yard or garage and start playing with something, or ask for food.
They only other parents that reciprocate with food/drinks/toys are the next door neighbors with the trampoline, and I have no problem if there is reciprocation, and their kids are well mannered and are welcome to my house any time they want. But how do I politely let these other parents know that I am not going to be feeding, entertaining and supervising their kids on a daily basis? I dont want to rock the boat and create a problem, but I just cant take this anymore..
Unfortunately you may have no choice but to rock the boat. If these kids can’t follow your rules, they can’t come to your house, plain and simple. Start locking the doors and build a privacy fence and put a lock on it too. They’ll eventually get the picture.
Communication is key with neighbors however, the right kind of fence can work miracles. Make a rule board and post it where they can all see. If all else fails, try to see the positive in the situation. There is good in the situation
1 – Lock your doors and fences so they can’t just walk in.
#2 – Make a flyer to advertise your "new rates for babysitting services" that charges for food, drinks, snacks, etc. or the children won’t be allowed to come over without paying.
#3 – Don’t answering the door!
#4 – Be gone.
#5 – Post a sign that says your children aren’t welcome to "drop in" just because we have a pool.
The most important thing is to communicate with your neighbors that you feel put upon to be the source of entertainment for their children and let them know that you are not going to be available to babysit for FREE. They will either begin paying for your services and food or they will keep their kids home unless you have specifically invited them over.
The truth is, you have ALLOWED this to happen by not locking the kids out in the first place.
Your own children need to know they can’t just ask kids over without your express permission and a time limit for the visit.
Keep your garage closed!
By the way, in most states, if an accident occurs (God forbid) on your property, the parents of the little darlings can sue you for everything you own.
LOCK UP EVERYTHING. And if you see them in your yard anyway, ask them to leave because it is not a good time.
Do this enough and they will learn to respect your rules.
My parents watch my son and we have the same problem there… my father put a lock on the gate to the backyard so that they can’t just come over… I suggest you do the same. Also, lock your front doors… and if they knock and you don’t want to be bothered… then tell them NO… I also suggest you tell the parents that they need to call YOU first before sending their kids to your house uninvited.
You already have a problem. You want to be polite to rude people? I think you been polite enough! It is time to get blunt and tell them like it is.
First and for most: You can not supervise all those kids by yourself. Not only do you have thing to do, you also have a house to keep up.
So when a child breaks her arm on your swing set or a boy almost drowns in your pool, YOU will be held responsible due to liability.
Secondly: You have children coming to your house that you do not know. You have parents coming around you possibly don’t know.
You are opening your house to everyone that is risking your safety AND your personal items. So if your purse is missing, the money jar you stashed is missing, video games or CD’s are missing, toys are missing………guess what, you have no proof of who did it. You might not even realize til a day or two later something is missing.
Thirdly: The kids are not respecting your home or rules. They are old enough to know to take off shoes, to knock and to listen rather than question.
So in return, not only should you say "Go home", you should also ban them from your home after the 3rd time. Sounds harsh? Well, Just wait for issues 1, 2 and 3 I listed above will easily make you change your mind once it happens to you!
You need to go to the adults and go "I adore having children around and play dates; however, it needs to be on a schedule play date time/day and their snacks/lunches needs to be provided during this time. I can not have more than X amout of kids over and also would need another adult supervision when it comes to the pool. Along with that, need to exchange insurance information and waivers due to the pool."
Many insurances like AAA home owners have been known to drop a client if failed to fence the pool, notify with warnings up and to get waivers if something was to happen.
At the same time, the usage of the pool and toys also will hurt your wallet. Toys are more opt to be broken or stolen. The pool has to be shocked and clean (no telling how many will go potty in it and get mud/dirt/grass), providing snacks/foods/drinks does get costly AND then you are not getting paid to supervise these kids.
Then while you are gone, kids and grown ups are coming to your house! Talk about security issues. Not only that, talk about an injury waiting to happen. What about if you got a dog and the kids didn’t know it and got bit?!
What goes on your property, you are responsible for whether you are there or not.
You are playing with fire by allowing this.
So really need to set strict rules and enforce them. I would never allow someone to come in my house with out knocking. I would tell them "No way. You turn right back around and respectfully KNOCK on my door to ask permission to come over". "If I say go home, that means go home. No ands or butts about it"
If you don’t get strict and firm. They will continue to walk all over you causing you more issues than you bargin for.
Yeh we experienced cul-de-sac shock 8 yrs back when we had one child who was 19 months old. It didn’t seem to matter that she was a baby – kids ages up to about 10 would ‘come over to play’.
You certainly can be polite but set the rules. I’d think you have a fence right? Lock the gates. . Lock the front door when you are not actually using it – it is a good habit anyways. That will prevent unwanted visitors. If parents come over and you don’t want to allow it, then say, oh, you know what – we’re just having family time right
now… I’ll let you know when it is a good time. You don’t have to make an excuse for not wanting company. Then take the proactive approach. Have your kids or even you call the particular friends they want to play with to invite them over for a play date. If anyone else stops by, then say, sorry, we’re only having x number over right now. If you don’t want anyone using the pool/swings while you’re away or in the house, then take them down and/or cover the pool. You can just say you are concerned about the injuries that could happen when kids are unsupervised. OVer time, people should get the message.
Lock your door, and if you have a fence around your yard, lock it, if you don’t have a fence, build one. I think I would be pulling my hair out if I were you. You may want to just go talk to all of the parents and tell them exactly what you are feeling and why.
Just curious, but have you ever heard of locking your doors?
I keep the door locked and if a kid wants to come play, they HAVE to knock on the door. If I don’t want any other kids at my house at the time (whether a legitimate reason, or if I just don’t feel like dealing with it) I just tell them it’s not a good time and to try to come back later.
I have no idea if any kids have ever tried to just walk in without knocking, because they wouldn’t be able to!
This may be a bit extreme, but your situation sounds desperate. I suggest you get rid of the swings and outdoor toys (I don’t know if it’s possible), and tell the kids the pool is ‘broken’ or the water is dirty. Once they realize there is nothing worth staying for they will leave.
Your house sounds like mine. Honestly, the neighbor children spend more time with me then their own parents. I don’t know why parents won’t teach their children a sense of time and not overstay their welcome. I enjoy the kids but I just don’t want to babysit ALLLLL day.
You will have to tell the neighboring children little Johnny and Mary can’t play with them all day. You may even give them a time they can come and play like from ten in the morning until eleven or a couple of hours in the afternoon. Be straight forward and firm. This is the only solution I’ve found to work.
I have the same problem too, well slightly different because I live in an apartment. My daughter has friends over all the time, I mean all the time, when they eat it is like a plague of lotus hit my house. But when ever she wants to play at her friends houses the parents don’t allow kids to play there (hence why they are always at my house) so she gets hurt and does not understand why they can come here, eat her food, play with her toys, but she can’t go there.
All parents are different and the way I see it if my daughter is happy and having fun that is all that matters.
I grew up in a house where I could never have friends over and now maybe I am over compensating but who cares?
That sounds horrible! I would say put a pad lock on the back fence or at least a latch that kids can’t reach. I think it’s more of a safety thing cause of the pool. What happens if one of these rude little kids hurt themselves on your property – guess who’s parents are going to come calling about medical bills? I would also designate a play time where your kids can have their "friends" over to play and only let kids in during that time. You can explain that you’re having family time if they ask why they can’t play during times that you would like some peace and quiet. Their parents couldn’t possible think you’re "rocking the boat" cause you turned their kids away from your property to spend quality time with your family. If kids came into my property unannounced I would "ground" them – tell them they cannot play today cause they were rude by not knocking, removing shoes, coming in the back yard unannounced, etc. I don’t care who’s kid is in my house, if they don’t behave at least as well as my child (after a few warnings) then they need to go home.